“What the fuck do you want me to say?”

I remember being told a story about a brief that was keeping everybody late at the agency, unclear proposition, seemingly impossible to answer, client never happy, too many mandatories and proof points, and the suit on the account came into the creatives’ office (back when creatives had offices…) asking if ‘they’d come up with anything yet’, and then after a long argument the copywriter yelled “WHAT…THE…FUCK….DO…YOU…WANT…ME…TO…SAY?” before the startled suit blurted out ‘we save you money on your mortgage…’ to which the copywriter then said ‘STOP. That’s it, now get out’, and then, finally, the brief was answered. Different times, but I’m sure it still resonates.

Nowadays, we’re blessed with more data and research and analysis on a brief for washing detergent than Aristotle had access to in his entire lifetime. And what it’s mostly led to is a 7-page brief accompanied by 100 pages of research and a bunch of overwhelmed people who’ve absolutely no idea what they actually want to say.

So this is a question that I still end up asking, and have asked, for my entire career.

“What the fuck do you want me to say?”

Because customers don’t read the brief. Or the research document. They have zero context. They read one poster. Or one 15-second ad. Or one social post. And, more than likely, they’ll ignore it, and at best, take one thing from it. So we only really have time to say that one thing. This is the level of naivety that we should be approaching the brief from. Because no matter how many people still try to tell you that ‘marketing/advertising has changed’, this part really hasn’t. The best advertising says one thing and it says it in the most dramatic way possible. So, if you don’t have the relationship with people where you can ask ‘what the fuck do you want me to say?’, then a more straightforward version is ‘what do you want me to dramatise?’

What’s the one takeout that you want somebody to take from this ad?

‘Smoking isn’t just bad for you, but the people around you’

I’m not sure there’s a quicker, more dramatic way to make that point than this. Sure, it’s extreme, but it’s an extreme topic.

‘Chupa Chups are now sugar free’

See, this stuff doesn’t need to be complicated. The ‘prop’ does not need to be some overly-intellectual brain-melting ‘insight’. What do you want me to say? It’s sugar free. Great. Even ants avoid it.

‘You can listen to any Penguin book’

Cool. It’s like having Shakespeare in your ears.

‘It makes parallel parking easy’

Dramatic visual metaphor. Porcupine between fish in a bag.

‘Macpac gear is reliable in any situation’.

The Monkeys

And just to be clear, when I say ‘dramatise’ I don’t mean over-the-top slapstick. We’re just exaggerating the one point we want to make. I love this spot, and it’s dry as hell. But it dramatises the benefit incredibly well.

‘The colder the water, the better the salmon.’

SICKDOGWOLFMAN

In Norway, the water is so freezing cold that even the locals are afraid of it. But the salmon love it.

‘You can get almost anything delivered on UberEats’

Special

But, Jess, by how much are we allowed to dramatise? Where’s the line? There is no line. The lines are all self-imposed, either be the suit, the planner, the client, or the creatives. The end point on this ad is that you can even get ‘thyme’ delivered by UberEats. And they’ve communicated that by having Cher accidentally send herself back to the 1680s with a time machine. For an ad about delivering a herb. So, whether you’re agency or client-side, the next time you find yourself saying “We really love this, but I just don’t think we can go this far”, just know that you’ve invented that line yourself.

A lot of the time, the reason why this job feels so hard, and why so many advertising ends up underperforming or ending up as wastage, is because it doesn’t communicate any one thing clearly. It tries to say too many things at once. It doesn’t have a single focus. It asks too much of the viewer. Or, sometimes, if it does have one thing to say, it undersells itself by being too rational. There’s no drama. No entertainment value. No reason to take notice.

If you find yourself spinning your wheels on a brief, or going off in too many different directions, with multiple territories all saying different things, you probably need to ask somebody “what the fuck do you want me to say?” or the safer version, “What do you want me to dramatise?”

If you could only say one thing, what would it be? Then when you get the answer, what is the most dramatic way I can say or show this? You might not have ticked off every mandatory in the brief, but you’ll have a great ad. And that might be what you needed all along to clear out the clutter.

If you enjoyed this piece at all, please click the ad below. It’s either that or I have to move to a subscription model to cover hosting costs. Appreciate it.

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